My Christmas wishlist had some specific book titles on it, and then I gave my mom a general topic that she could look into. I noticed a whole section at the Christian bookstore with books about life issues - babies, miscarriages, abortions, adoptions, struggles at birth, etc. With my position at Life Choices Center, I figured books on these topics would give me some insight into what people have been faced with as they make decisions about the life inside of them.
One book I got for Christmas was I Will Carry You. Written by Angie Smith, wife to the main singer from the Christian group, Selah, she shares her family's story and decisions they had to make with their daughter.
Todd and Angie's first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, and then they had twin girls! A few years later they had another daughter, and then another girl came along. Before she was born however, they found out there were some complications with their daughter. Her heart was taking up 80% of her chest, so her lungs could not develop properly. She had no kidneys or bladder, and other parts were missing. Todd and Angie were told their daughter would not survive, and professionals recommended they end her life now.
Todd and Angie decided to love their daughter as best they could while she was in the womb! They made Audrey a part of their family, explaining to their then 5 and 2 year old daughters that their sister had a boo boo on her heart. They gave the girls disposable cameras to take pictures of Audrey doing things with their family - they now have pictures of Angie's belly at the beach, the grocery store, and wherever they spent time!
While other friends were preparing for the birth of their children with baby showers and such, Angie was preparing for a funeral for hers by picking out a burial place, grave stone, and dress for Audrey to be placed in the casket with.
Angie picked a date to give birth to Audrey by C-section. Picking a date was difficult though, knowing she was also picking her daughter's death date.
Todd and Angie weren't even sure if they would be able to hold their daughter alive. God did allow them to hold their daughter, and Audrey was able to meet her three sisters! Weighing three pounds and two ounces, this little girl was here for a short two and a half hours, but family and friends showed so much love and support during her lifetime here on earth!
During her pregnancy Angie had seen a stuffed bunny at the hospital giftshop. Todd and Angie went to buy one, and the one they picked up had an accidental black mark over the bunny's heart. They used this bunny with their daughters, and they each put a bandaid over the bunny's boo boo - the same place Audrey had a boo boo. It was a reminder to pray for their sister. This bunny was at Audrey's funeral where her sisters removed the bandaids, realizing that Audrey's heart is now healed!
The book was a page-turner, and Angie was able to give comfort to others that have faced a situation like this. She also gave advice to those they may be supporting friends they are going through the death of a child. It's never easy, and we can not explain why God ends a life so soon, but choosing to give your child life for however long it might be brings God glory!
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