Keeping Everything in Perspective

This picture is from the day Nate proposed. We got engaged in June.

Little did we know what all engagement actually entailed.

We've successfully made it through 6 months of being engaged, and with only 3 months left to go, I've come to realized that the engagement period is this really unique time of transition full of anticipation, planning, self-control, expectations, and wishing you could go back to the days of care-free dating!

Overall, these months of our engagement have been a period of learning and growth.

Two weeks after Nate proposed, he closed on a house that we have been working on fixing up to move into after the wedding.

One month after we got engaged, Nate started a new position at work and is now a truck driver at Frito Lay. This meant long hours and an unpredictable schedule and requires a lot of patience and flexibility.

Throw planning a wedding into the mix and preparing for marriage and you have a whole lot of life changes happening all at once!

Instead of becoming overwhelmed by everything going on during this period of engagement, we've really tried to keep things in perspective:

• The wedding day will be one day out of our entire lives. I enjoyed planning events ever since high school. I pictured planning my own wedding to be a wonderful experience, but in reality it's been hard to find motivation at times to keep moving forward with plans and making decisions. We've decided to keep the day simple, but are still looking forward to celebrating the significance of the day with our family and friends in a memorable way.
  
• This house we're fixing up will most likely be our home for the next 10+ years. Nate purchased this house with plans to pay it off in 10 years and eventually move to a house with more land - and perhaps more than the one bathroom this house currently has! We are grateful for the opportunity to work on this house together as we make it our home. It's fun to think about all the major life milestones that could happen at this house as we dream about our future together. We're putting significant time and money into this house know, trusting that the investment will pay off with wonderful memories there in the years to come.
  
• Our relationship as a couple will last a lifetime in marriage. As we've been looking forward to the wedding day and moving into the house, we're also looking for ways to continue developing our own relationship - because without that, these other plans are meaningless. While this engagement period is a busy time of planning and preparing, we're still making time for us as we continue to learn more about each other. We're seeking advice on marriage and have plans for pre-marital counseling. This is a unique time for us to prepare ourselves for the forever commitment we're about to make to each other!
  
• Far beyond each of these three areas and time frames I've mentioned, our relationship with God will last for eternity! All of our plans here are on earth are nothing compared to what God is preparing for us in heaven. Nate and I try to remind ourselves that with everything going on, we need to keep an eternal perspective. There's a line in a poem which says, "Only one life, it will soon be past; Only what's done for Christ will last."

Nate and I might have the best wedding day ever. We may have the best house around. Maybe we'll even have a perfect marriage relationship. But none of that would matter if each of those aren't also glorifying God and moving His purpose forward!

Would you pray for us as we finish out this weird transitional time called engagement? Pray that we'd be able to keep everything in perspective and keep Christ in the center of all we do!

Better Than What We Had Dreamed

When Nate and I first talked about getting married, our dream was to have an October Barn Party style wedding with donuts, cider, and a get-away tractor. Nate was pumped about his tractor idea!

We had fun dreaming about this October wedding, and I was tempted to buy decorative hay bales last year on clearance to hang onto for our Big Day!

As we further considered this time frame for our wedding, my sister Julie was considering studying abroad for a semester. If she decided to study abroad, she would be in Lithuania during our October Barn Party. Not wanting to sway Julie's decision about where to spend her semester, Nate and I kept our hopeful wedding plans to ourselves.

While Julie made plans to travel to Lithuania for her fall semester, I was looking up plane tickets to see what it would cost to fly her back for a wedding weekend in October.

After much prayer and discussion (and the fact that time was ticking and we weren't even officially engaged!), Nate and I realized that there would be no October Barn Party in 2012.

When Nate did propose, we had to decide if we wanted to make October Barn Party 2013 happen. Not interested in waiting that long, we compromised our dream and began making plans for a March 2013 wedding! Julie would be back in the states, and her spring break from classes was actually in March.

Without realizing it when we picked out wedding date, planning for our March wedding has worked out quite well!

Nate purchased a house just after he proposed, so along with wedding plans, we've also been working to fix up this property to move into once we're married.

It's funny to look back on what plans we had in mind, and to now see that relying on God's perfect plan for us really has been better than our original dreams!

• We got engaged during the summer, so we were able to snag some good bargains at garage sales for the wedding and our future home. 
• The timeline of progress at the house allowed us to take advantage of Black Friday deals to purchase some major kitchen appliances as well as other things for our wedding and future home.
• Not only will my sister be on spring break, but relatives from Texas have break that week as well - they are talking about renting an RV and taking a family road trip to NY for the wedding!
• March is a slow season in the wedding world, so vendors and locations have been very available to schedule our special day.

Overall, I'm glad I did not clear out the fall clearance section at Walmart last year! God has used His perfect timing to teach me patience. He does have a sense of humor though because although we did not end up with an October wedding, Nate's family threw us an engagement party in October! It was a perfect fall day - and we were able to celebrate with family and friends...and cider and donuts! I just had to smile as I realized God still allowed our dream to come true - but in His way and in His timing.

As we continue to move toward marriage and prepare our future home, we're praying God will continue to guide our decisions as we rely on Him and His plans for our life together!

Now a Box of Memories

I was cleaning/organizing my room tonight, and I finally decided it was okay to part with all of my class notes and homework assignments from Principles of Accounting and four years worth of other business classes, but then I found a box with papers from 3 years ago - three years ago today to be exact.

November 16, 2009. I was hospitalized for over a week. I had saved cards, emails, and words of encouragement from family and friends during that time.

I was a Junior in college and struggling to figure out what to do with my life. I was being treated for depression at the time when a series of events led to other mental health issues that needed more specific medical attention.

Many doctors worked with me to find a proper balance of medication, and I was released the day before Thanksgiving to enjoy the holiday with my family.

Throughout the rest of my time in college I met regularly with a doctor in the Rochester area and a counselor on campus. I learned more about myself and how to appropriately handle various life circumstances.

I graduated from college in 2011 and moved back home. I continued to see my doctor in Rochester every three months or so to monitor the medicines I was taking.

In February 2012, with agreement from my doctor, I came off one of my medicines. Knowing I could begin taking the medicine again at any time, I was curious to see how I would do "on my own."

A few months later, with agreement from my doctor again, I stopped taking my final medicine in July of this year. I followed up with my doctor and have now been off the medicine for a little over 4 months.

I'd be lying if I said these past 4 months have been wonderful and smooth sailing, but I was interested in using the many tools I learned to use when I was on the medicine to take care of myself without having to "rely" on the medicine.

I'm still learning to pay attention to my triggers and incorporate necessary "me time" in order to avoid that dangerous point again, but I'm thankful for the process I have gone through these past three years. I've come to appreciate making the most out of life, and I'm now able to better relate to some of my family members and friends that have faced or are facing similar struggles.

Looking back through that box of "hospital memories" today was a little emotional as I was reminded of the love and care extended to me during that unknown time.

I understand that I can go back on the medicine if that is what's necessary, but I'm thankful that God is faithful and uses unique periods in our life to teach us more about ourselves and those close to us.

I do try and take the time to look back on that season of my life every once in a while to remind myself of the importance of not letting my life get to that point again, but also to as an encouragement of the support shown to me. I'm thankful for the many ways God has allowed me to grow throughout this process.

The picture above was me in the hospital that November three years ago. My family brought in many of my favorite things, and I had the best decorated room in the hospital! To read more about my experience, check out my blog post from two years ago when I was reflecting back: Hospitalization

Unsure what the future holds in regard to my mental health, I am thankful for the prayers, encouragement, and support from loved ones - it has certainly given me courage to express my emotions appropriately, find balance in life, and look forward to what God has for my future!

A Clean House and a Clean Heart

As Nate and I have been fixing up this house to move into after the wedding, I've done a lot of cleaning in the past few months! It never seems to end - there are always more areas to clean!

I spent the majority of today at the house cleaning. From the picture above you can see that we have several supplies to help us make the house squeaky clean again. And today I got to thinking...

This would be so much easier to clean if the house hadn't just been sitting here for a year and a half!

You see - Nate bought the house off the bank. No one had been living in it for several months. No one had been consistently cleaning it and the dirt and grime piled up.

How often do I let the sin in my life pile up?

Wouldn't it be best to keep short accounts with God? Much like it would be easier to keep a house clean if you cleaned a little bit every week instead of letting it all build up and become a huge project to restore it to the point of cleanliness?

This house was filled with mold, and dirt, and cobwebs, and broken pieces - but that is all slowly changing.

And it's the same in our life - cleaning up our sin takes time. It can be a long and slow process to allow God to purify our sinful selves, but once your life gets to that point of restoration - keep short accounts with God and don't allow yourself to get to the point of complete filthiness again!

We're trying not to let the current mess in the house discourage us. Instead, we are choosing to see the potential and carefully taking the proper steps to cleansing. In the same way, God has a closet full of cleaning supplies - if we open our heart to His love and forgiveness and allow Him to work in our life, He will make us squeaky clean!

Who's Setting Your Pace?

In a race, you often pace yourself based on the speed of those surrounding you. You can push yourself a little harder if the people near you have a quicker pace.

When I go for a run by myself, I'm not the fastest runner - but if I go running with someone who's just a little bit faster than me I realize I can push myself to run faster than usual! All it takes is a little motivation and encouragement from the person next to you setting a faster pace.

So think about your own life. Who's setting the pace for you? Who do you surround yourself with?

Do you spend time with people that challenge you to think and grow? Do those around you motivate you to try new things, accomplish goals, and be creative?

How about your spiritual life? Who's setting the pace when it comes to your walk with the Lord?

"You pace yourself according to whom you run beside."

This statement is from a Bible study book I'm going though with a group at church, and it stuck with me and made me think.

Life is meant to be lived with other people. If we are willing to be open and share in relationships, they can encourage us and keep us accountable in our spiritual life and other areas.

When you're unmotivated or have hit a low point - look for others who are full of energy and have a passion for God's Word! Chances are, if you surround yourself with people eager to live their life for the Lord, they'll set the pace for you and you'll be encouraged to join them and run along side them in this journey of life.

Who is setting the pace for your life right now? Could you push yourself a little farther if you surrounded yourself with other people? Find people that are going to encourage and motivate you - share life with them!

Delayed Gratification

I miss blogging.

I miss doing a lot of things right now.

It's already October, and I have yet to pull out one fall decoration. I don't think it's even going to happen this year.

I think there's a lot of things that will not be happening this year - but there is a lot of other things that will be happening. And it's all part of this weird transition into marriage.

I may not be decorating for fall, but Nate and I are fixing up a house that I can decorate for fall every year in the near future!

I may only be blogging once a month, but right now we're dreaming about the lifetime of memories we'll make in the years to come!

Time spent with Nate now usually consists of working together to plan out his truck routes, hotel stops, and directions - but helping him learn the routes beforehand reduces the stress he has on the road and puts him in a better mood when he calls me from his hotel. And those 2 hours of prep work before each of his trips will some day mean he will be able to complete his trips a little faster and be home for the night instead of in a hotel!

Catching up with friends now typically involves a paint brush or a cleaning product, but some day those same  friends will be over for dinner or a game night in a fresh and clean house!

I shop at Lowes more than any other store right now, but the effort we put it at the house now means it should be fairly low maintenance for a while after it meets certain standards.

I stay up late to work on wedding stuff and get up early to work on house stuff - but someday our marriage and our home will be worth it!

As much as it might be nice to fast forward to March and have this all behind us, there's value in delayed gratification. Nate and I are learning how to best communicate our needs, desires, struggles, and frustrations. We're learning patience and forgiveness. We're giving up a few months that could be full of fun activities for preparing for a lifetime together.

We can't predict the future, but we have hopes and dreams. We're prayerful that our time spent putting in the hard work now will pay off down the road - in our relationship, in our home, and in our life together.

We're making sacrifices now, but it won't always have to be this way.

I may miss blogging, but Nate told me the other day he's thinking about not getting his hunting license this year. We had never talked about it - he came to that conclusion on his own. He may set hunting aside for one season, but that doesn't mean he won't ever be out in the woods again waiting for those deer to come along. Just like I don't have to give up blogging for good. Our engagement is just a season in our lifetime together - and this season calls for different priorities than we've had in the past.

So we're trying out this delayed gratification thing and giving up a few things now for potential future gain!

Full [Blue] Moon Cruise

The whole month of August was a little nuts starting with a big fundraiser I was in charge of at work, and then Nate starting to drive truck for Frito Lay. My family was in town for a bit, and there were a lot of summer events going on.

All that to say, I was thrilled last night when Nate took me to Skaneateles for their Full Moon Cruise on the lake! A whole evening away together with no wedding planning or house project!

 We had planned to go on this cruise last year, but the flood happened a few days before, so we decided not to go. With Nate's unpredictable work schedule now, I wasn't sure if we'd be able to go this year either - it would remain on my list for another year. However, yesterday afternoon we decided we'd go up last night for the cruise! Not only was there a full moon, but this was a blue moon - meaning it was the second full moon in the same month, and that won't happened again until 2015!

It was a perfectly clear and warm night on the water. We enjoyed some dessert together before boarding the boat, and the light of the moon made for a perfect evening together!

While there has been a lot going on with planning the wedding, fixing up the house, and adjusting to Nate's new position at work, we are still making time to enjoy our relationship and encourage and support each other!