A year ago today I went into the hospital. A was there for a week and a half, being discharged the day before Thanksgiving so I could enjoy it with my family. I missed the rest of my semester at Roberts so I could continue recovering at home. Professors were gracious and gave me grades based off the work I had completed. I had a relaxing time at home, enjoyed celebrating the holidays, and came back to school in January. It's been a journey, and I am thankful I am not in the same place I was a year ago. Here's a little picture of what was going on last year:
-Weird Weekend: The weekend leading up to my hospitalization was really strange. I was very confused and had a hard time communicating with people. I was crying a lot and very frustrated. I couldn't sleep well and woke up the morning of November 16 saying weird things to my roommate. I decided to not go to any of my classes, but had to e-mail my professors, letting them know I would not be there - that took every ounce of energy out of me. It was like a race against the clock as I sat at my computer trying to type out a note explaining why I wouldn't be in class. Again, I was having a hard time communicating, so this was very difficult.
-Ambulance: I ended up calling my mom that morning, screaming and crying, not sure what was going on. She told me she was hanging up to call my aunt who lives right down the road. Pretty soon, my aunt was at my dorm and took me to her house. I was hesitant to get into her car - I felt like I was an elderly person she had to take somewhere for an appointment, and she had to coax me to get into her car. We eventually headed to her house, where I picked at some food and tried to take a nap. Eventually, she got me to head back to Roberts to go talk to the counselor I had been working with that semester. She had to help me walk inside, and I again, felt like an elderly person that needed all kinds of help. I sat in the office of the Director of the Counseling Center, trying to explain what was going on, but I was struggling to get them to understand - I didn't even really know what was happening! Next thing I knew, there was a police officer in the room with us, asking me all sorts of questions - that was intimidating! I thought they all thought I had done something wrong, but I hadn't! His name was Eric - strange what I remember from the whole situation. Eventually, I was placed in an ambulance. I was screaming because I didn't know what was going on. Doug was the ambulance worker, and he strapped me in and started asking me more questions. My aunt was able to ride with me - I was thankful for that!
-Hospital: We arrived at the hospital, and I still didn't really know what was going on. There was a wait for a room, so I was just strapped to a bed in the hallway. I thought this was some sort of joke, and everyone was going to leave me there to figure out how to get out all by myself - I was so confused! Eventually my dad showed up. Thankfully, he was without a job at the time, so was able to stay with me the entire time I was in the hospital. My mom was in Texas, so came part way through the week after her duties there were over. Eventually I got into a room, and I don't remember a whole lot that happened. My grandma was there and was trying to explain where I was. The whole time I thought everyone was using special codes to communicate. I was so frustrated because I couldn't figure it out! Talking to them later, there was no secret code! That night they ran a bunch of tests and just tried to get me to sleep. This was all on Monday, the 16th, and I really don't remember much of anything until Friday, the 20th.
-Getting Better: On Friday, I had some visitors, and we played some games together. My aunt had brought a hymnal for me, so I remember singing some songs. My cousin brought letters for my wall that spelled out, "We Love Laura!" I had a very decorated room, complete with elephants! The doctors would come in and talk to me every morning. I had a routine down with meals, showering, visitation hours, and going to group activities. It's funny because in the beginning I had a hard time understanding what day it was - and for someone who likes her planner, this was a problem! I would always ask the nurse what day it was, then eventually, he would be the one asking me - I was so proud when I could confidently answer him correctly! As I got better, I was encouraged to fill out a packet called a Wrap Plan. This helped me to identify my triggers, who I can go to for support, actions I need to take when warning signs come up, and more. After adjusting some medicines, the doctors were able to find a good balance for me and released me, hopeful for my future.
-The Past Year: I continued going to counseling during the spring semester, and met regularly with a doctor to monitor my medication. I was on two medications, and we have been tapering down on one of them. At first, my goal was to be off both medicines after 1 year. However, I have noticed a big difference in my life this past year, and do not think this is the right time to be changing things with so many changes coming up after graduation. I am content with being on the medicine because I know it is making a positive difference. I've really only had 2 rough days since last year - what a blessing! They were recently and probably due to the stress of this time in the semester and coming off the one medicine.
I am so thankful for the journey I have gone on! I was blessed with great doctors and nurses and wonderful family and friends to support me this past year! This past year has been the best year of my life, and I am hopeful for the future!
-Weird Weekend: The weekend leading up to my hospitalization was really strange. I was very confused and had a hard time communicating with people. I was crying a lot and very frustrated. I couldn't sleep well and woke up the morning of November 16 saying weird things to my roommate. I decided to not go to any of my classes, but had to e-mail my professors, letting them know I would not be there - that took every ounce of energy out of me. It was like a race against the clock as I sat at my computer trying to type out a note explaining why I wouldn't be in class. Again, I was having a hard time communicating, so this was very difficult.
-Ambulance: I ended up calling my mom that morning, screaming and crying, not sure what was going on. She told me she was hanging up to call my aunt who lives right down the road. Pretty soon, my aunt was at my dorm and took me to her house. I was hesitant to get into her car - I felt like I was an elderly person she had to take somewhere for an appointment, and she had to coax me to get into her car. We eventually headed to her house, where I picked at some food and tried to take a nap. Eventually, she got me to head back to Roberts to go talk to the counselor I had been working with that semester. She had to help me walk inside, and I again, felt like an elderly person that needed all kinds of help. I sat in the office of the Director of the Counseling Center, trying to explain what was going on, but I was struggling to get them to understand - I didn't even really know what was happening! Next thing I knew, there was a police officer in the room with us, asking me all sorts of questions - that was intimidating! I thought they all thought I had done something wrong, but I hadn't! His name was Eric - strange what I remember from the whole situation. Eventually, I was placed in an ambulance. I was screaming because I didn't know what was going on. Doug was the ambulance worker, and he strapped me in and started asking me more questions. My aunt was able to ride with me - I was thankful for that!
-Hospital: We arrived at the hospital, and I still didn't really know what was going on. There was a wait for a room, so I was just strapped to a bed in the hallway. I thought this was some sort of joke, and everyone was going to leave me there to figure out how to get out all by myself - I was so confused! Eventually my dad showed up. Thankfully, he was without a job at the time, so was able to stay with me the entire time I was in the hospital. My mom was in Texas, so came part way through the week after her duties there were over. Eventually I got into a room, and I don't remember a whole lot that happened. My grandma was there and was trying to explain where I was. The whole time I thought everyone was using special codes to communicate. I was so frustrated because I couldn't figure it out! Talking to them later, there was no secret code! That night they ran a bunch of tests and just tried to get me to sleep. This was all on Monday, the 16th, and I really don't remember much of anything until Friday, the 20th.
-Getting Better: On Friday, I had some visitors, and we played some games together. My aunt had brought a hymnal for me, so I remember singing some songs. My cousin brought letters for my wall that spelled out, "We Love Laura!" I had a very decorated room, complete with elephants! The doctors would come in and talk to me every morning. I had a routine down with meals, showering, visitation hours, and going to group activities. It's funny because in the beginning I had a hard time understanding what day it was - and for someone who likes her planner, this was a problem! I would always ask the nurse what day it was, then eventually, he would be the one asking me - I was so proud when I could confidently answer him correctly! As I got better, I was encouraged to fill out a packet called a Wrap Plan. This helped me to identify my triggers, who I can go to for support, actions I need to take when warning signs come up, and more. After adjusting some medicines, the doctors were able to find a good balance for me and released me, hopeful for my future.
-The Past Year: I continued going to counseling during the spring semester, and met regularly with a doctor to monitor my medication. I was on two medications, and we have been tapering down on one of them. At first, my goal was to be off both medicines after 1 year. However, I have noticed a big difference in my life this past year, and do not think this is the right time to be changing things with so many changes coming up after graduation. I am content with being on the medicine because I know it is making a positive difference. I've really only had 2 rough days since last year - what a blessing! They were recently and probably due to the stress of this time in the semester and coming off the one medicine.
I am so thankful for the journey I have gone on! I was blessed with great doctors and nurses and wonderful family and friends to support me this past year! This past year has been the best year of my life, and I am hopeful for the future!
I am in tears right now as I read it and am so proud of how honest and open you are to everyone out there. I am so glad that you have allowed me and other close friends to encourage you along the way. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI have to echo what Heather said...its heartbreaking to read such a detailed account of what happened last year. You have come SO far in the past year and its incredible to see your joyful smile back. You are an amazing friend-one that i look up to and admire in so many ways, especially in the ways that you care for people. I'm always here for you, just a phone call away! Love you SO much friend!
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