Now a Box of Memories

I was cleaning/organizing my room tonight, and I finally decided it was okay to part with all of my class notes and homework assignments from Principles of Accounting and four years worth of other business classes, but then I found a box with papers from 3 years ago - three years ago today to be exact.

November 16, 2009. I was hospitalized for over a week. I had saved cards, emails, and words of encouragement from family and friends during that time.

I was a Junior in college and struggling to figure out what to do with my life. I was being treated for depression at the time when a series of events led to other mental health issues that needed more specific medical attention.

Many doctors worked with me to find a proper balance of medication, and I was released the day before Thanksgiving to enjoy the holiday with my family.

Throughout the rest of my time in college I met regularly with a doctor in the Rochester area and a counselor on campus. I learned more about myself and how to appropriately handle various life circumstances.

I graduated from college in 2011 and moved back home. I continued to see my doctor in Rochester every three months or so to monitor the medicines I was taking.

In February 2012, with agreement from my doctor, I came off one of my medicines. Knowing I could begin taking the medicine again at any time, I was curious to see how I would do "on my own."

A few months later, with agreement from my doctor again, I stopped taking my final medicine in July of this year. I followed up with my doctor and have now been off the medicine for a little over 4 months.

I'd be lying if I said these past 4 months have been wonderful and smooth sailing, but I was interested in using the many tools I learned to use when I was on the medicine to take care of myself without having to "rely" on the medicine.

I'm still learning to pay attention to my triggers and incorporate necessary "me time" in order to avoid that dangerous point again, but I'm thankful for the process I have gone through these past three years. I've come to appreciate making the most out of life, and I'm now able to better relate to some of my family members and friends that have faced or are facing similar struggles.

Looking back through that box of "hospital memories" today was a little emotional as I was reminded of the love and care extended to me during that unknown time.

I understand that I can go back on the medicine if that is what's necessary, but I'm thankful that God is faithful and uses unique periods in our life to teach us more about ourselves and those close to us.

I do try and take the time to look back on that season of my life every once in a while to remind myself of the importance of not letting my life get to that point again, but also to as an encouragement of the support shown to me. I'm thankful for the many ways God has allowed me to grow throughout this process.

The picture above was me in the hospital that November three years ago. My family brought in many of my favorite things, and I had the best decorated room in the hospital! To read more about my experience, check out my blog post from two years ago when I was reflecting back: Hospitalization

Unsure what the future holds in regard to my mental health, I am thankful for the prayers, encouragement, and support from loved ones - it has certainly given me courage to express my emotions appropriately, find balance in life, and look forward to what God has for my future!